Purpose Through Art, Fatherhood, and Skid Row with Crushow Herring

Transcript auto-generated from the episode audio; formatting has been cleaned up, but wording is verbatim.

I'm Cynthia Marks and I head up the Holistic Psychoanalysis Foundation established by my late husband, Doctor Bernard Bail. Welcome to And Now Love. Today we are diving deep into the power of community art as healing and finding purpose in unexpected places. My guest today is a visionary artist, community organizer, and a true renaissance man of the streets. Known as a Community Arts Manager at the Sidewalk Project and the creative force behind shows art. He has transformed public spaces with over 50 murals centering the voices of the unsheltered and reimagining art as a tool for justice and liberation.

He's a painter, a father, and an advocate who believes that art is a precious bridge to connection and community. Please welcome the incredible Crushow Herring. Thank you so much. It's a pleasure being here. We're so happy to have you here. Very excited to talk with you. There's so many things to talk about. We're going to run out of time. Oh, well. Hey, that's. That's how it goes. You know, I just appreciate the opportunity. Blessings so much. Thank you. So I'm so curious. I think we'll all be so curious kind of about your journey, the life that you've led.

Sort of where you came from, how you ended up doing all of these fabulous things that you're doing, which for you, you might say, just who I am. I don't know that. That's fabulous. It's just what I do. It's just my calling. So tell us about you. Born in Kansas City, Missouri. My mother and my father. Both of artists. They both draw coming from backgrounds of artists. My mom's uncles, and they drew on her father's side. And then my grandmother on my dad's side. My dad's mom, she was an artist. So the art is really in my family, but I really. Family wide.

Yeah. We're all artists. Were born artists. All of us. All of us. I think so too. The first thing we do before we draw, I mean, before we write, is draw. We sing before we talk, and we dance before we walk, you know? And then, you know, the world starts to try to farm you well. You try to form yourself to the world. You know, I think a lot of individuals tend to find their way that they wish to express themselves, and some don't like to see it visually when they do it traditionally. So we do it within our dress, maybe not realizing that it's that's the art and that's not tapping into it enough for me, just for me to do it in my dress.

I do dress how I feel, you know, but I also like to express visually how I feel with with my natural talents. So, I mean, I've learned to find myself that way. Even moving here, mom moved me and my brother here at a young age, being a single mom. The first place I moved to in Los Angeles was the jungles over on the west side of LA. Describe what that is. The jungles is a housing complex. Group of housing complex back in the early or late 70s. Early 80s. It was high end condos for the African American area in South central L.A. It's right off of La Cienega between La Cienega and La Brea, or actually between La Brea and La Cienega.

I mean La Brea and Crenshaw off of King Boulevard and near Dorsey High School at that time really wasn't as heavy in gangs, but as it, you know, went further on. Throughout the 80s, the neighborhood turned as most neighborhoods turned to protect themselves. So the jungle is a area for the blood gangs. But the blood gang that they're heavily involved in comes from, like the black P stones and black history and black culture and protecting the culture. So it's one of the neighborhoods that's actually authentically revolutionary area. But most gangs are all about being revolutionary.

Like A grip is community revolutionary and progress. It's all a acronym for people that wish to take care of their community. It just infiltrated with the feds and things like that of why we have our our triumphs. So growing up in South Central LA with a single mom and a little brother, a little different, but. Coming from someplace so removed from. But being so young, coming from Kansas City, California was just a bright light of opportunity. And I appreciate it. Mom moved me and my brother here because found ourselves with, you know, two different households, moms divorcing my father, visitation rights.

When it came his time to see us on the weekends, we found ourselves looking around the corner, constantly pacing and waiting for him to show being a father now, I told him to stand it, trying to keep things going. I don't have a separate family outside of the one I've created, so I'm pretty sure I'm. He probably was in the rocket a hard place. But that left me in. Left me? I can't speak for my little brother, but it left me looking for him. Or constantly wanting to know when would I see him if I didn't see him that weekend? And it would be me looking for him throughout the whole week, because I knew he worked at a freight company and a trucking company called Yellow Freight.

Me being a kid, I'm not knowing he doesn't drive the trucks, you know, because when I go see him, he would put me in a truck and drive it around the yard. So you thought that's what he was doing? I thought he drove truck, so I would constantly want to look inside the truck for my father. So I think my mom really saw it as a time for us to just get away, you know? Yeah. And was the idea for her? You never know what trauma you still have. I know, I know, you know what I don't want you to say. That's trauma. I love my father so much that it feels good to know how much I missed him and look for him, you know?

So I don't want to say trauma I didn't have. I don't want to say that trauma in my life. I've had things that molded me to be who I am. Well, it's it's a beautiful thing that you feel your feelings, man. I'm just so happy to be able to have them. Yeah, I don't see it as a bad thing. I'm glad to have my feelings that I have. It's made me who I am. You know? And it makes me see things the way I do. I see that about you. But most of us, you know, been told we don't. We don't have time for feelings. Our feelings make us weak. Our feelings don't, you know, propel us forward.

Anyway, I'm interrupting your story. I know so what it is. Was your mom thinking that if you guys moved here, that that longing that you had, that that need that she probably thought your dad couldn't feel because of all that he had going on, would be would be lessened? Well, more than anything, I wouldn't have time to look for him. I see, you know. Oh, he can't. There's no way he can come right around the corner. Me being here in California and him being in Missouri. So it made it to where to just do my day, you know, do my day regardless. Yeah.

It doesn't mean that I'm won't you know. Yeah. I'm not seeing him. But at the same time I don't have time to worry about it. There's so much other things that I have to accomplish and so much opportunity out here, you know, to to get into what I wanted to be in. So it was easy enough for you to fill that space. Easy enough for me to feel that space. And so when the time would come, it would be there for me to do, you know, being in Missouri, not as much opportunity. It's not like it's a small place. It's not. I wasn't in a country town. I'm in Kansas City, Missouri.

So it's it's, you know, Metropolitan. We're just so far reaching here. It's like anything you could possibly imagine. You can do it here in California. Yeah. So, I mean, it was a blessing. You know, Jehovah has a plan, regardless of how we see it. So you guys moved here? Moved here? First time I moved here, I was three. My mom went and tried to separate because she had saw that my father was extending to go ahead and try another relationship. Being young and with a newborn, my, my brother wasn't no more than maybe a year old, almost two. I think the conversation of him calling made her like, okay, well, I'll go back and try it.

So back here by eight, nine years old and been here in Los Angeles since. Yeah. And so you went to school here. You elementary school here? I went to start off at Santa Barbara Elementary when King was Santa Barbara Boulevard and ended up graduating from King Elementary. So basically Santa Barbara King Elementary over in not too far from USC in the Coliseum. From there, I mom didn't want me going to the junior high school that was in that neighborhood, which is Olive barn and 46. She sent me to the west side to Westchester. I went to overwrite junior high school, you know, there.

That's where I learned how to. I start learning more of graffiti and things of that fashion and learning about street art. And did and was the graffiti? Strictly a form of art for you, or was it a way of making a statement in the form of art? Well, I ended up getting into the graffiti because me being an artist, I thought it was, well, at the time I thought they were artists, the graffiti artist. My friends at school were, they had black books. So my black book has art in it, but their black book actually has graffiti art. So while I'm drawing portraits or trying to draw and get better at my craft, they're getting better at their penmanship with letters.

But we don't. You don't know what's inside of a book. You know, you have to get next to the person before they open up the book to actually show you what they're doing, you know? So, I was, I would say food, but it was great because I'm thinking that they are drawing in their books when they're actually working on their manuscript. So they're practicing. Practicing their hand and their, their styles when it comes to letters. I didn't put any attention on art, even though I was doing it most of the time to make myself, you know, It's my you know, I couldn't say I had anxiety or I'm nervous with things like that because my whole thing is, I always knew I could draw, and I always knew I had a pen or something in that fashion.

So I used it as a icebreaker or used it to connect. But I didn't see myself being an artist. I went to school when I graduated from high school. My whole thing was, okay, I'm gonna go to college and I'm gonna play basketball, but I'm going to go to college to be an architect, and I'm going to learn math, because at that time in the 90s, it was they'll pay you so much money to teach American math in China. So I was like, oh, you know what? I'll I'll become an architect. And then I'll do math as a minor, and I'll go to China and I'll be an architect, you know, making real good money to be an architect.

But I'll teach math in the meantime to make sure I can make some money. So that was just the mindset when I went to college. But it changed once I got into school. The lines for for being an architect and and were just too lenient. I started wanting to draw on my blueprints. The cat would come out and my whole blueprint would be there, the whole floor plan. And I want to draw draw. In the bathroom and start adding. And my cat teacher say, what's this here? And I'm like, well, that's a picture frame. You're seeing it from the top. So the picture would sit here and he's like.

No. You need to go in interior decorator. And so that did it again. I was so homophobe growing up. You know growing up in the time I grew up in it was it wasn't so. Normal to have gay friends or it wasn't normal to be gay. It was something that when you saw it was like, okay, that's weird. And coming from Kansas City, Missouri, and then being here in LA, even though LA is was the most liberal place you could see it, it wasn't culture. So my thing was, I don't want to do art, you know, because who knows, I probably would have I wouldn't change it now.

But I mean, things probably could have been totally different. I had a NBA Hall of Famer, Willis Reed, who wanted me to come. Excuse me. Wanted me to come to Pratt Institute in New York for me to do my four years of college. But I had never seen Pratt in the NCAA tournament. I knew nothing about Pratt, you know. Where does this show up? Yeah. And then at the same time, it shows how much I didn't know about basketball because, well, this reads the Hall of Famer. He's a great. And his name didn't ring a bell to me. You know. Wasn't what you followed.

But still so did you pursue basketball. Then I pursued basketball, but I didn't go that route. I went a little longer route I end up going to during college. I did three years of junior college and then transferred to a university. Had a real good junior college career playing basketball. Finished with the AA, wanting to do as much as I can. Still with basketball and the only opportunity I had that was making sense after Florida was the Oklahoma Panhandle State. But it was a great school because I gained some good friends. The coach was actually a great asset for me because mentally he was a psychology major, so he knew how to tap into me and to focus on getting my attention of how I needed to grow as an athlete and as a leader.

So that helped out for, you know, my journey after I left there, I didn't stay the whole year because. Little random experiences, you know, make such big impacts on us, I think where would I have been had I not had that moment in time? And that's where I started tapping into my art real heavy there. I did tattoos to pay for bills and to in between scholarship and grant money. Pell Grant, you know, I did that. Yeah, but I really tapped into my art when I went to Panhandle because small school. So I started putting my artwork in the school paper, working with a friend of mine who's a comedian now shots out to Rob love.

He's a great writer. So he would he'd write the poems, and then I would do the artwork, and we were putting that in the school paper. So that's where I started really tapping back into my art. So how did you get back here? What did being back here mean to you? How did I actually snuck away? Real fat. Like, I think like three months right before school was out up in Northern California. Before I came back home, I actually left and tried to go to China for a while and, well, not for a while to see if it was feasible and if I could do it. Didn't last more than a week and a half, two weeks before I was back.

Because I know this. When I went to Shanghai. What? Beijing? Excuse me? I went to Beijing. I didn't have a translator and my per diem was running late. It seemed like I always had to beg for my per diem. So when you know, when you go out to look for a college or when a college is wanting you, they actually give you a guide. You know, they take care of you, they show you that they want you. So being young, like 19, almost 20, I actually saw that, hey, this doesn't this looks like I'm just jumping out on the edge. Doesn't look like it's too promising.

So I came back and finished school. Once I came back, it's when I really. That's when things I think hit me. I think the biggest lie that I believe so much growing up was liberty and justice for all. So describe that briefly. How did that hit you? How did you realize that wasn't a truth in your world? Doing what I felt was so well in college? You don't realize people can notice when you're a jock on campus or when you're someone different or a student athlete. You know, student athlete isn't really easy, but you do get different treatment while you're on campus.

You know. Regardless if you're black or white. Black or white, you get a real good treatment. You're you're seeing, there's. You're seeing. You're just not a number. And you weren't thinking that that was. Being called out in a special way. You just this is I am who I am. I am who I am. You know, but you don't realize, the aura or the energy that it gives. I mean, because even when I went and I did overseas or I tried it, it was still the same being over across the water. I don't look like most that are there, you know. So it's actually like if I have a letterman's jacket on, especially if I'm walking around those that are considered athletes in the country.

But you don't realize it when you're a young person, that it's just just another campus you're walking on and people can notice it. But when you come back to America, you look like everyone is here and there's no specialty around you. Because, you know, I've always been a lead 13 year old. I've thought I've always been a leap 15. Wherever I'm at in my realm, I've always felt that I'm. I'm hanging with the elite, coming back, not being on a certain, like I tell you today, you know, you want to connect yourself with a certain ship. We're here in the ocean overall, but, you know, we want to jump ship from our parents.

And a lot of times, that's just a little floaty. Yeah. You're thinking it's a ship and you're thinking you can do it, but this is basically just a floaty. It's not even arrived. It's not even a boat. It's an inner tube. You know, anytime someone can pop, you know? So for me, noticing that I, I was like, okay, I need to connect myself, but with something, you know, I'm too old to go to school. I'm too old to do something to where they actually can see that I'm I'm a factor here. And to feel that way at like 22, 23 is kind of like it throws you from the age of 21 to 25.

No one's actually trying to see how to help you anymore. You know, if you're not in one of these institutions, on one of these ships. You're an. Adult, you're an adult, you know, and you're an adult that's not connected to one of these institutions. There's one of these ships. So you're treading water. Yeah, yeah. No guidance. So while I'm treading water, it was. That's where things started to hit me. To where it's like, hold on. I thought they told me if I graduated and if I went to school and I did these things, I would actually be considered different.

But I know this. Once I got back to America, I was a nigger again. I was black again, and that is where I had my mental breakdown to where it was like, okay, I became a statistic. I was already a statistic by single mom growing up. You know, in L.A. they already have set back. And now I became it because most single moms that that raised their kid as males, they have a real big, maybe 50 to 60% chance of going to jail. So I helped it out more by, you know, once I got back to here to LA, I started selling drugs. And that's how I become into Skid Row.

That was the my where things flipped for me. I was. Working selling drugs. Was that sort of giving you back that, you know, a little bit of entitlement? You know, I am important. These people in this community need me. Come to me. Yeah. Once I come back in, I'm working at the YMCA. And the reason why I'm at the YMCA is because I want to build. I still want to go and play ball professionally when I get to the YMCA. A friend of mine is constantly needing to help me out. By the time I get to my last check and I'm asking him for money to borrow, and every time he's given me some money to borrow, he's peeling it off of a stack stack of money.

And my mind is, of course, I assume, but and I'm not interested. But after a while, it gets to where I'm like, you know what? Whatever you're doing, I'm not wanting to be in this hardship anymore. And I ask him to bring me wherever he's going. In that sense, kid row, this was 28 years ago, and from that point, coming in the skid row, I end up getting a different love for it. I wanted to ask the questions of how it became the role. I wanted to ask the questions for my participants and those that were buying drugs for me. Because my thing is, I'm giving you.

I'm trusting you with my life. When I give you hand you anything, you could easily go to the cops. You could easily say, I robbed you. So I wanted a connection with who I was selling to. And that's how I become Mister Fifth and Crocker. And that's how I become the organizer and skid row. Because I'm. I want to know you, and I want to have a relationship with you. So if you do get caught, you appreciate me enough to where you don't want me to get caught. And I become friends with the community. And that kind of shifted my whole mindset. When I hear a person why the substance abuse was needed, I start to learn why the black market drug is needed.

I start to learn those that have ran into their hardship lost their family, not having family, being outcast because of their what they're needing, because they've lost their insurance, their husband has passed. So now they don't have the money that they had before to get what they need. So this is how this whole community is built and I start to have a heart for it. But did you start really is kind of a form of self-preservation. I've got to make a connection with these people because. I want to go to. Jail, because you didn't want to go to jail.

In connection with these people, because I need them to know the person I am to where if it does get bad. And plus, I was in the area with a bunch of wolves. You know, I'm a gazelle. You know, I'm coming out of college. You know, I don't, you know. Yeah, I'm totally different than than those I'm around. And not saying no one else went to college. That's why I ended up learning that we're, you know, we're in a pod. It's like gumbo. Everyone's been through something. But that's where I start to learn that. And such. Everybody has their own unique set of circumstances.

And as you're trying to make this connection for self-preservation, you are now hearing these people. And then you go beyond hearing these people, and you're kind of in their heart and they're in your heart. And now you're like, oh, geez, I've got a relationship with a person. You know? And it gets to where after a while, I started doing so well. And things come by. You mean financially. Not even financially, just life. Because I just wasn't a drug dealer. You know, I worked at the YMCA. I still played basketball. I was still doing. I only did drug dealing for 3 or 4 hours out of the day.

But what happens is I ended up meeting my partner, and once I meet her, things changed for me. You know, I want to I want to be there and I want to hang out with her. And so. And where did you two meet? Skating rink. Right. So you know what happens because, Americana. Yeah. Well, what skating rink was this? It was Cerritos. My mom met my dad at the skating rink. Yeah. And so for me, all the way until my eighth birthday, I would wish for my father. Right when it's time for me to do my the candles to blow the candles out, I. That was your. Birthday wish.

Yeah, that's my birthday wish. You know. So meeting my meeting my partner Charlie, I, I meet her at the skating rink the same way my mom and my dad. So for me, it was like a sign that, okay, this is your wish. And what are you going to do with it? Right. So I started spending more time with her instead of going onto the block or going out into the streets to to make the money. So it kind of saved me. But then you kept going back to Skid Row. Oh, I'm going to constantly go, it's how I make money, you know? And she even wanted me to quit. And she's like, hey, why don't you start doing your artwork?

And I'm like, well, if you have a kid, you have a kid, I'll quit. You know? I'll get into my art if you have my son. So my son saved my life. And did you just know that having a son was, you know. It wasn't even if it was a son. If I just had a seed, I didn't want to. I wasn't going to leave it behind like my father left me and my brother. Right. So a chance to do this. Well. And did you. And kids give that to you? You know, like, even with my partner, like, she can think whatever she wants, you know? But my kids, I can be I can be what I want to for my kids.

Yeah. That's pretty awesome. You're right. What? That's what a gift. Your own story. Yeah. And so you eventually stop selling drugs to your friends and skid row. My son comes. So it's been 20 years. So when my son comes, that's that's my joy. My daughter is, too. But my son is a man. That's me. That's my little guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I figure he's my, my best art that I've ever done. So I named him Artis. He's. And he's he's a canvas six, five, you know, tall and he's amazing. And my daughter is two daughters. Amazing. Kids are amazing. But it drove me to want to to be there for them and to actually give it a chance and hopefully not make them a statistic and that they can and I can be as much as I want to be for them and.

And to be authentically who you were in this artist that I mean, how do you best show your kids what their good life can be if you're not living your true good life, being who you really. Are, really bring it into perspective. Because at the time when I started, when I had the kids, I started doing my organization in my organizing in Skid Row with OG man Manuel Benito Capito. He saw I saw OG walking out of his building when I was selling drugs, and I would laugh at him because he was taking his art supplies and it'd be like three in the morning, four in the morning.

He's heading to Venice Beach and I'm like, oh man, what are you going like? Where are you going with his art? He's like, well, I'm going to Venice Beach to sell my artwork. And I laugh like, yeah, okay. No, you know, nobody's buying art. Yeah. Good luck in those. Man's like, nobody's buying your art. You know, man, he's my guy. So og man is up. He comes back later on that day. I catch him later on that day, comes back and he spins big money with me. And I'm thinking to myself, like. What's going on? Yeah, like I'm risking my life. And this man just said he was going to sell artwork.

He just came back and spent over $200, you know, like, what is he doing? Yeah. What is he doing? He's able to do this. So I started really keying in and watching OG, man. And one day he told me, he said, hey, I'm, I'm doing something with some kids, and I'd like to see if you come by and talk with them, because we had been talking back and forth. When he'd come out before he'd go do his art, he'd come back and he says, I like for you to come talk with the kids. He found out I was a basketball player, but I used to draw while I'm on the neighborhood.

That was the thing I would draw while I'm waiting for a sale. Right? So I'm doing some artwork while I'm waiting on the sale to come, or waiting on someone to come talk with me. So he knew I was an artist, but he saw and heard I played basketball because it's going around the whole thing, plus I dribble. I'm not just wanting to sit downtown, so I like work on things. I work on my art. I work on my basketball handles while I'm waiting. You know, this is a place where everyone's not doing anything constructive to me, so I can't be doing bad by me doing this.

The police didn't mind it. You know, I should slip the radar, even though a guy with a basketball and drawing is really going to draw attention. But I'm not doing what you think I'm doing. You know? I'm waiting for something to happen for me, my housing or whatever excuse I had. You know, it was just an excuse I would have if something came up. I'm waiting. Waiting for something. But og, man, we would talk. And he said, I want you to come talk with these kids. And that's when things started to change for me. I hadn't had my kid yet, but now I can't give advice and be a mentor if these kids see me.

Several drugs. Yeah. So now I must watch how I'm downtown. And then I started getting more invested with Old Man to where my mom was economic developer, one of the economic developers of South L.A., and helping, you know, nonprofits create and helping them get their funding. So I'm seeing what OG men's wanting to do here in Skid Row. And I'm saying to myself, like, hey, do you do you love yourself more than you love people? Because this man needs this money? Like, if he could really talk with your mom, things could probably change for Skid Row.

And it was like a big epiphany. It was like, okay, you know what? I need to connect my mother with OG, man. But I couldn't do that because now how would I tell my mom I'm in Skid Row? And what am I doing? Like a mother knows their kid, you know? So, he offered me that time to talk with those kids. So I was like, okay, this is the time I actually could do something, and then I'll have pictures to, like, kind of show mom. Like, hey, look, I went and talked with this guy because I just couldn't bring up OG, man. Well, how do you know it? Right? What are you doing?

Yeah. Where are you knowing this guy from? You know. So once I did the kids, I was able to. Hey, man, I just went and talk with these kids down the skid row. I worked with this guy named Old Man. So now I was able to connect my mom. But at any time she would, she could pop up. So I had to start changing everything about it. So I that's what I was letting my partner Charlie, like, hey, look, I want to have a kid. And if you want to date me, like, I want to have a kid and she's in college. She's not wanting the kid. She's like, no, I'm okay. And I'm like, well, hey, I want a kid.

And I. I think it had changed me. Well, I didn't say that. That's how I'm feeling. And her old thing is like, well, no, if I have a kid, you end up going to jail because you haven't stopped. And I was like, no, if you have a kid, I'll quit selling drugs because I want to take care of the kid. So when my son was born, it's when I. I left it totally alone and I had another life changing experience because me doing it while I was selling drugs and he's born, I end up having my whole house. I ended up going through an illegal with my landlord. She was a sheriff, so she illegally evicted me out of my place.

But at the same time, when she did it, it was a blessing. But she took my safe where I had all my money saved in. I was going to start a store with custom shoes and doing doing my artwork. Basically a boutique in LA just was looking for the building and she basically broke into my house and took everything I had. So my son's three months old at that time, so I go through a civil court to try to get as much money as I can back, not reward the money she ends up counting suing things. Go, hey, wire from that point. So I started off with my son at three months old being homeless and I shelter, couch for couch.

House from house. My partner hadn't had a great job at the moment. She was still trying to get on with with her logistics job, so things hadn't got hard. So my sons, my son's upbringing was a little harder than my daughter's because we had everything snatched from up under us, you know? And at the time, you know, I said I wasn't going to sell drugs, but I think that's what it was. It was a test because it's real easy to quit when you have everything. So it was easy for me to walk away with $15,000 saved, over $30,000 worth of merchandise. Well, I wouldn't say 30 over 12,000 to $20,000 worth of merchandise.

And not for you to feel comfortable. Enough to feel comfortable and start over. And that was all taken away. And I think it was I don't think. It was a test. For you to test for me. Yeah. Jehovah had a test. Yeah. And that's that's what I think really made us work with OG man and then establish the sidewalk project. It's about catching catching those because we're all one day in the check away. Yeah I think we saw that when Covid hit. Well, and look what happened to you when you couldn't pay your rent and you lost everything you had. And here you are with your son living.

Yeah. Three months, you know, you know, you know, I think that was more so. Like I said, I think it was a sign. I always said if I had the kid, I would leave the drugs alone. So I think that was more so, you know, we go through test. I feel this is a test, like going to school and so much you think you can pass the note while the teacher's not looking. You can make your cheat sheet so small so you can just lift it up and look this. There's no way you can cheat this, you know. So I think every day you're, you say you've grown and you say you've learned this and that.

And I think you're tested with that as you move to your journey. Like how much have you changed? You know, like I have these stitches now that my lip now. And it's more so I'm not the pillar that I was in the streets before. I have a badge that I'm on nonprofit, so I'm, I should be I'm, I'm actually looked at as speaking as a positive person there. And I should always direct myself in that manner. And like we were speaking earlier today, like, it's hard for me to do outreach because I become my community and I become where I came from. And the only thing I know how to do is survive that, to get where I need to.

So I'm not able to focus that this organization is on my back. With me being a co-founder and someone that helped bring it into the community. So what is the sidewalk project? The sidewalk project? We're an art organization heavily ran in, organized and powered, driven by women and artists and trans community. My co-founder and well, I actually he is the founder and co-founder her and Stacy D Soma Soma. When I met her eight years ago, they came into the community to help me do an art project with some friends of mine. And from that, that was in Chris.

That was a Halloween in 2017. And then from there they wanted to come again, Christmas and do another project just to get to know the community more and more. So working with the community instead of us just doing the art project. So we. Had this happening. It's good. It's good bro. Yeah, this was 2017. Well, yeah. 20 17th December. After we did our event for Halloween. And afterwards, I thought from the two events we did, it went well. Well, on how we worked together. The community was real receptive of it. They liked it. So I wanted to do it more than just on these holidays, because we need every day.

And they agreed. And my friends were like, hey, why don't you talk with the sisters? Because they're the reason why we came this second time. You know, we came the first time because we wanted to art project, but this one was because they wanted to get into the community. So I didn't know that they were wanting to find a place to actually start doing their outreach and engaging. And they were looking at Hollywood. And then once they seen Skid Row and worked with me, they were questioning and tossing up if they wanted to actually make Skid Row their home in their home base to work out of, because they do a lot of traveling because we're artists, so they're artists in music industry and and writing plays and performing artists and also traditional artists.

And so is the idea that you bring art into the community. We use it as our icebreaker. What if we're going to come to a community? We're not telling the community what they need. We actually want to be invited in. And when we're invited in, by working with another organization or actually coming through a participant or a community member, our main thing is to bring something art wise, art and infested I mean, infested with art. I want to say that like a Coachella, we wish to bring like a some type of art festival or some type of art activity to your community.

So it could be music, it can be food. We just wish to bring art to engage. And then once we do that, we find out and we typically find, you know, those that was to talk with us and through us. I guess just being authentically ourselves. People tell us what their what they would like. And even if it's one person, we'll just bring that back or we'll see how we can engage in that. And that just tends to, you know, if somebody sees they can get something and maybe the next is like, well, you know what? I had this idea and it just starts to bring, since we have our resources to see if we can start to put a pause in whatever situation is preventing a person from, you know, succeeding.

That's why I stay focused that we are an art organization. And for me, that leads me to stay in the the mindset of respecting what my goals are, because we do a lot of things, like we have our Women's center, villa's closet, and this is where for the women and transgender and sex workers, they can actually come to a space and feel safe. A lot of places are male dominated, and who knows what traumas women have, or these individuals have to where it can spark trauma while they're right. Maybe two hours before everything is about to change. Maybe a day, maybe a couple months for things about to change, but more that they're moving in the right direction and not needing anything to discourage them not to stay on track.

So we have the Women's Center. We really focus on harm reduction in the streets. That was one of the biggest funding grants that we end up getting from the county, with Covid hitting back in 2018, 2019. I mean, first, yeah, for us to be in California, we get everyone's homelessness. Everyone. I mean, there's no weather better than ours. It's a Hawaii. You know, a lot of people can't get there, but they can find a way to get here. You know, someone's coming to California. You know, I'm going to California next week to go. You know what? Can I go?

Go with you know what I mean? So a lot of people come in here. It's kind of hard to put a dent in our homeless population because we're accumulating everyone else's homeless population. So our homeless population even isn't even noticed, you know, because we're getting Mexico unsheltered. And those that want something else, we're getting Ohio's unsheltered and those that want something else. We're getting all the people that want this Hollywood dream. So, you know, we're getting everyone's, we are the America of the States because everyone's coming here.

And we're a huge and unwieldy city full of different cultures. And we stretch. We can't. Even go long, you know? So I think a lot of people look. And no shame to New York, no shame to Miami, no shame to my hometown. No. But, California is is the mall. You know, everybody likes Walmart, the Kmart. But you got to get your money together when you go to the mall, you know, and all these shops. And we're not just any more. We're we're the growth, and we're not even the growth. I mean, we're like going to Glendale Galleria, you know, it's the Gucci store and it's, you know, it's just not the regular stores.

It's just not the regular mall. So you have to be prepared and understand that that is the light that you're in. You know, this is a huge light and you have to be ready for it. It's tough in any set of circumstances. Yeah, but what community? You could do it. And that's one thing I've noticed. I mean, I wasn't able to sell a art piece or even sell a piece of art for $5,200. I felt like I was begging somebody to do it. And now it's 5000. 7000, you know? But it's able to happen because of community and knowledge. I mean, I sold drugs at one point, and now I can curate, and for three hours I can make over 350 just for them booking me for a curation.

That's just me hanging a piece 60in off the ground, but I didn't know 60in off the ground from that point. I could be paid $150 an hour, but I'm risking my life for five and $10 nickel sales, you know? So it's just the knowledge of of who you're around and what you learn that makes a big difference. And just and I think too, maybe just being present, just sort of opening the door to the community, showing up, doing what you're doing, inviting others to join you, and no pretenses put upon them about it needs to be in this box that I've designed for you.

Come join us. Be a part of the process and the process. Then I would think with your murals, the process is part of the finished product. In this trust that like me and Ray was speaking earlier and she brung up and I'm not sure if she actually knew, but working with the new organization and the new program, we she has. Like been on a database to where you could find all these or being in a club with all these artists, and she's bringing it up and she's talking about things. And so like I said, you never know when you take all these things and you put it together on how it all is.

One spiderweb, like, if I touched it here, vibrated here. Right. I've always wanted to work where everything that I do, it all fits together and able to move together. And so Ray was speaking to me and she was talking about, hey, I got these other things going on. I'm trying to work these workshops this way. And I'm also speaking to these people in Lammert that have some connections. So when Lammert pops up, it rings my bells. I'm like, okay, that's my community. And they said, she keeps going. She's talking about some of the things that we're doing in Lammert and, you know, and who we can work with in the area.

And then she brings up, she says, it's this one great place called soul. Folks don't to make sure that you can know about it. And I'm thinking in my head, like, we're doing good work. I think, you know, and I'm just hearing it from the point of view of just saying, like. Because that is part of. You. That is part of me, you know? But it's me not parading. It's me. It's me knowing I'm a part of the team. It's me knowing that it's part of my culture. Me growing up, me and this guy, he started the the tagging crew I told you about years ago. Nothing but trouble.

So snake doctor who's an artist he just passed a couple of years ago. He made this bracelet here. But he's always tell us when we were kids, you know, we're only 13, 12. While we were tagging, he said, hey, you all are artists. And as soon as you tap into it, it's going to work out. So Akil does a great job of still adding to be known that snake was one that believed in us while we're still there in Lammert, doing what snake wanted us to do and what others saw us doing. And so it's like hearing sidewalk while I'm somewhere and no one is knowing that I'm part of sidewalk.

It's always a joy to hear about the work that we're doing and how we're connecting. But with me just staying in my path and then my my partner outside of me working with sidewalk, I mean, working with soul folks is bringing it up. So folks said, hey, crucial, you need to work with them. We're going to do some things. And, you know, just letting it be known that they're a part of what I'm talking about making this movement with. Yeah. And I'm thinking in my head like, that's just so good. That that is so cool. We are all doing our work in our ways, but it's not me that's bringing it together.

I like things when it's not. You started something. You. Yeah. You've opened the doors to so many people to kind of join you without even knowing their joining you. I think that that's the beautiful part about it. It's like the mural that we did for the Omega. It's a mural showing how the Asian culture and black culture always coexist with each other in our neighborhoods, even in Skid Row. Mission building is right, right. Skid Tokyo, I call it Skid Tokyo. It's right on the borderline of Skid Row and Little Tokyo. But Little Tokyo is Skid Row.

Little Tokyo used to stretch to Olympic, you know, but through gentrification and through all the stuff and, you know, for the redlining, excuse me, redlining for so long week, we have different diasporas could only live in certain places. So throughout the redlining, that's how you have Little Tokyo as it exists. So Skid Row sits where Little Tokyo would start, and now it's took over a section of it. So Skid Row is Little Tokyo. That's why the fish markets and things like that are there. And seafood. But one thing I want people to realize, Skid Row is more than just the transit and the traditional transit area.

It's the hardest working part of Los Angeles because from 230 in the morning and till 630, everything's already been moving as far as produce. Yeah. You know, big deal. Yeah. All the food, all of the fabric. It is amazing. The flowers. Go down there at 430 in. The morning. It's all gone. And those people have kids, so that means they have to get up early enough to take the kids to take care, or the kid is there with them. Yeah. You know, so I mean, it's the hardest working area, but we're always think of just the unsheltered and the, the mental health hospitals being closed, Reaganomics creating things.

But Skid Row is probably the hardest working area in downtown. I want to say, well, I'll just do downtown. I would say all of L.A., but I'm not trying. We work hard all through LA. Yeah, but it's where it starts at. You know. Yeah it's it's like the supply line for so many things that happens. You know. And that's one thing it is. So we hear often talk about the importance of the mother and in utero you know the mother's imprint in that everything that she's going through lands on you. You know, the, the wonderful, the loving, the terrible, the scary.

And we carry that and we carry that into the world with us. And it's already a weight that's bearing down on, you know, sort of core of love that we are. And, you know, it's sort of a part of our life's work is to get back to who that is, who is that authentic person. And, you know, hopefully we can get to it earlier rather than later. But that is some of the work that we, I think must do in life because we can operate as our best human self if we're really who we are authentically. And you've spoken sometimes of Skid Row as sort of being a mother.

Yeah. To stay focused that mommy just wants you to come home and also be safe. But you think you can get away a lot with mom if you talk nice so she won't do it, or she'll spank you next time. You know, We do like to do what we need to do to appease our movements so that we can exist. So we can exist. Right? But overall, a lot of times you have to go further than that. So I use her as a mother to, to recognize for myself that she'll give me everything I need and she'll be there for me. But is it? Am I doing the best I'm supposed to do? And that's why I use her as the mother.

Because when it's all said and done, you know, people are constantly, like, we look at the homeless situation, well, the unsheltered situation. And we say, that. The conditions of a person being outside cannot be normal. And so much of it that we've conditioned ourselves to, to shame them by saying homeless when overall, you know, if you have your beliefs and you have Jehovah God, Joshua, have you see it, then homeless anywhere you set foot in because you're protected, right? So I focus on that point because if I worried about the box that I'm going to be in now, then I'm really not doing much to make sure that I'm here when I'm gone.

I figure with me being six two, my box might not be as wide as minis, but it's going to be long and pretty spacious when I leave, you know? So my box might be bigger than most people's box, you know? So I'm not really worried about this box that I'm living in at the moment. It's about, what am I doing before I get in that final box to make sure that I do live on because of what I've done. You know, what legacy. Do I live behind? What did I leave for my children? How did I stand as a as a man of my stature and my beliefs? And how many people wish to carry them on when I'm done, or was it just in vain?

You know, I think. That how do we help humanity while we're here to help you manage? I think that matters. You know, I've always said I can't get greater into the world gets better. I can't get better into the world gets greater. Either way it goes. I have a lot to do within my purpose. Well, the world's not getting better until we face it with love. Well, you know what I feel like? I think I need to change it because the world is where it's at. It's us as people. The world is. The world is great. Because I wake up and I see it. We as people need to do differently.

You know, I realize that it's either your cell or your disease because this is one world, one body, you know? So I wish to be at least a sail in this. Yeah. You know, so I'm not killing off what we need to make us drive and live in this. So, I mean, I'd rather be a sail than a disease. Yeah, and bring that forward to your own children after we're gone. Doing his best to that. So tell us about this project. The Omega Apartments. It's, honoring the Omega cracker factory in the Omega family. Also honoring the tradition and the history of Brownsville in Brownsville was a time, as we're speaking on the when the Japanese were put in encampments because of the war that we were in.

And during that time, as I said, the Asian and black community worked cohesively together, regardless of what it is, but do due to conditions, we've been accustomed to living amongst each other and doing business with each other and things of that fashion. From if you go into the communities now, you have so many Asian owned businesses in the black community because of we work well together, it works. So at that time in the late or in the early 1940s. And do you think that part of what made that those two communities come together to sort of support each other was that both community communities were put upon by the larger white community?

It has something to do with that also. But if we weren't even here constricted in Los Angeles. I mean, some of the first summarized were Moorish and of African descent. So it goes way before. But I mean, if you look into that, they might say it was because of some type of conditioning or some type of oppression. That's true. You know, so I think everything might have be that. But yeah, more so that in here in Los Angeles and in America because of redlining. Yeah. You know, we're only able to go in certain places. Don't cross this train track. Don't go that way.

So yeah, maybe a lot of it has to do with that. But overall a beautiful something. Beauty comes out of it, you know? So your mural is celebrating. Its celebrating the beauty that came out of the 1940s when we had the Bronzeville, because the Japanese business owners were put in encampments, so their businesses were left deserted. And so the blacks that worked for the businesses, they took them over and made sure that they still thrived. And once everything was over with and the the Asian community, Japanese community was released from the encampments and they came back to the community, they noticed their businesses were still going on and they didn't have to fight for it.

And they were gradually, you know, just gently and, you know, humbly hand it back over to the business owners. What a beautiful coexistence. And so as to give that history and then to also. And what a great message. Yeah. And to give that the, the community of today and those today to let them know that we're still in that time of taking care of each other. And now this is the Omega building in the Japanese community. Extend this hand to the black culture and giving housing and giving salvation after coming out of whatever situation they've been in.

So it's the same thing, you know, but then also the the part that's so beautiful about the mural is it's a mural of two children playing of both descent and both cultures. But I didn't know I knew how the mural laid out. But when the when the buildings built. You don't know where vents are going. Oh. You don't know where cameras are going to be at. You know, all the all those things. Right. You don't know where the door is going to sit. So when they laid the mural down, I think the greatest part about it is the mural has the kids playing and they're blowing bubbles.

And then the bubble or the history of of Little Tokyo and Skid Row and some of the things that make us community and why we exist today. But right where the little young lady is young girl, because the kids are seven and younger. Well, the little young girl is blowing out of the wand a bubble. The bubble cam. Oh. It's right. Sits right by the bubble one. Yeah. So that means whoever's looking at the mural is a new bubble. That's right. You know, so it's actually taking in the history that's still going on today. So. And that was just the bubbles came I think the mural design was.

Approved. And then I think the bubbles came like maybe time like, you know, I think we'll have the kids blowing bubbles because they're, they're playing together. But I had no ball, I had nothing they were playing with. You could just tell they were in the field playing. But I had nothing they were playing with. And now they were. Engaged, and now they're engaged together with this bubble. And then. The bubbles. Two years later, it gets laid down, and then all of a sudden this bubble cam just comes out. It just things are written and you never even I mean, that's one thing.

I sit back was like, I couldn't have planned this better. I couldn't have looked at the mural and was like, you know what? I'm going to have the bubble coming right out. Because other than that, when it came out, I'm like, man, they're cutting up this mural and put little things in it. And then when I saw the bubble, I was like, this was mad. Yeah, this is this is amazing. That's so cool. Yeah. And Squirrel Care Campus is right next to the old mill building, which is a one stop shop for the community. So you can there are services there. Get your showers, get your IDs, you can get your housing facility, you get your housing, paperwork done.

You can get a caseworker, you can get put onto services. It's everything and it's allowance. You don't have a certain time. You have to go. You can actually sit there and it's it's there. It's our, outdoor community center, and it's it's beautiful. It's one of the nicest things that we've built. And it was built by the community of Skid Row and the grassroots organizations in Skid Row. So the services are what we asked for. Yeah. That's amazing. We should all be aware of this. Yeah. It's, And you've got your fingers in so many different arenas.

It's. I don't know how you have time to do all this. It's a blessing to be involved, but, it's my lifestyle, you know? It's my culture. Yeah. With it being my culture and being. Well, I mean, it's. To know about it as much as I can do to participate and to be a voice of positivity. It's the best thing I can do to be involved in it. I can't be graded some of the things I'm at, so I do me. And then when I'm called up on, I bring what we do well to the situation. You know, we all. Work well together. You're authentic to who you are. Yeah, I can only do this because if I was to step outside and to to get outside of me doing what my purpose is, then I find myself in a rat race.

And now I become my statistic. I become what the plan was probably meant to be and those things. Because now I'm letting everything else in the stands play with my mind when I have a reason why I'm on the field. Yeah. You know, and I might want to shoot the ball and I might want to go do that. But that's not my job. My job is a certain thing that I'm here to do. So I'll watch those that shoot the ball and I'll watch those that do their thing. But I'm here to do my job. Well and thank you. We're so fortunate that you are doing what you do and that you love what you do.

That's that's the whole goal. That's why you have me here. Because I'm loving what I do. Because you love what you do. And you're doing so many things that we all need to know about. And that you're under the radar for me is not okay. You know, I don't get into the space to where I ask the questions of why I've been through, or I go through what I go through. I'm highly honored that I walk in the building, feel the way I do. So I guess what I've been through has molded me to I wouldn't be who I am as the person. My art wouldn't be what it is. I wouldn't be able to go and probably speak to those in the areas I go to to make the connections I make, you know?

So. I respect. Excuse me respectfully, I, I take on what I've been through with honor and I and I, I'm proud of it. Well, and you have compassion for yourself. Yeah. But it's molded me to go places that a lot of people wouldn't want to go. But what wish they could get the understanding of knowing what it is just to know, like, okay, it doesn't mean I want to do it, but I can respect it. And I can see I can see the. But but also listening to you and you sharing, you know, sort of why you are who you are and what being a human means and how you travel through your day, how you got here.

All of that helps others, you know, sort of think about themselves and creatively think about themselves and how they can get to a place where they feel comfortable with their part and humanity. Well, so thank you. It's just so blessing to actually be here and have some type of understanding of what we're all here for, at least knowing what I'm here for. Hopefully, you know, make a nice judgment for those. You're making a difference. So a website that we want to talk about, is there some place people should go to learn more about you. The sidewalk project and then shows art.

Com and then yeah, we have with both of those we have a workforce program that we're working on to, you know, economically help the areas that we're in the community. And if I want to wear what you're wearing there, how do I. Oh, that's one of our partners and one of the social and entities that we have. So folks, which is a the organization I work with in South L.A., that's how I stay connected back home and in the area I'm from. I work with the organization in the the boutique. So folks. Pretty fabulous looking. Yeah. You know, we have some real good designers.

We are we are a. It's a community driven social and entity to where we give space for those. If you have time to help us in the community, then we have time to give you the materials you need to create what you need to creatively. If you're an artist, we have the canvases and the paints for you. If you're a designer, we have all the fabrics and we have the sewing machines from you. If you are an event planner, then we have the room and the community space for that to happen, and the community member is ready to go. So our thing is, if you have time for the community and to help us build and empower the community, then we have time to help in empower you through your creativity.

And we have the space for it. That's unbelievable. I mean, you're so humble, but like every three minutes, you're telling me some other endeavor that is designed to help community and help uplift people. That's how I'm getting here. So my thing is just to do the same thing that got me here, but not, you know, not forgetting that the purpose was, you know, we were talking about sidewalk. And my thing is just talking about the great partners that we move with or who was involved with me before I helped create our movement with Sidewalk Project, you know, but to stay focused that overall my purpose is the sidewalk project.

Like, I want to help everyone that has a sidewalk and those that don't have sidewalks, they need them. Yeah, yeah. Well, well, again, thank you so much. And let's stay in touch. It's a pleasure being here. Thank you so much. Thank you. Please follow, rate and share our podcast and pass this episode along to someone who might need it. This is in now. Love. Listen to your dreams and live from your heart like this. Man. Thank you so much.