episode 57
Bonus: Therapy Myths With Dr. Loren Weiner
In this short bonus episode, Cynthia Marks and Dr. Loren debunk common myths about therapy, explaining that it isn't only for "crazy" people, that a good therapist won't just tell you what to do, that meaningful change takes more than a session or two, and that not all therapies or therapists are the same.
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Episode Description
In this quick bonus episode of And Now Love, Cynthia Marks and Dr. Loren Weiner tackle the most common therapy myths that keep people stuck, ashamed, or misinformed. Loren starts by dismantling the idea that “therapy is only for crazy people,” reframing therapy as a place to get in touch with your deepest feelings and build resiliency for a complicated world. Next, she addresses the myth that “my therapist will just tell me what to do,” explaining that real therapy helps you grow into someone who can make clear choices for yourself. They also unpack the unrealistic expectation that you can resolve everything in one or two sessions—because trust, safety, and meaningful transformation take time. Finally, Loren explains why “all therapy is the same” is simply false: modalities differ, and the right fit includes both method and the therapist’s personality. The takeaway is empowering and practical: therapy isn’t a last resort—it’s a growth tool, and you’re allowed to choose what serves you best.
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Transcript auto-generated from the episode audio; formatting has been cleaned up, but wording is verbatim.
Hi, my name is Cynthia Marks and I head up the Holistic Psychoanalysis Foundation established by my late husband, Doctor Bernard Bail. Welcome to And Now Love. Today we go over some therapy myths with Doctor Loren for a quick bonus episode. Therapy is only for crazy people. I hear this all the time and I couldn't disagree more. Therapy is not just for crazy people. Therapy is this wonderful place where you get to figure out who you really are at the deepest levels. You get in touch with feelings that maybe you didn't know you were disconnected from.
You get to understand yourself in the world in a new way. Looking around the world, I would say if you're not in therapy, it's kind of crazy. Meaning, with all of the things going on in our world, how are we expecting that people make it through without having really strong feelings and reactions to everything going on? And why would you not want to give yourself the chance to explore that have a place to put it all together in your mind so that you can understand it and make sense of it, and give yourself some resiliency, and hopefully carry that out into the world and help make the world a better place.
So to me, you don't have to be crazy to go to therapy. You know, it's sort of like telling somebody, oh, well, you you have to have something wrong with your leg to go to the gym. It doesn't make any sense to me. Of course, everybody should just be able to go talk to somebody who really understands you at a deep level and helps you then understand yourself at a deep level. What's crazy about that? My therapist will just tell me what to do. Your therapist should not just tell you what to do. In fact, that isn't really therapy. Therapy is designed to help you grow and transform.
The idea is that you are making new spaces for understandings that you didn't have before. They might be about yourself. They may be about people in your life or the world at large. But what you are doing is creating a whole new place to understand the world in a new and hopefully deeper, more meaningful way. So if your therapist is just telling you what to do, you're not getting the chance to learn all of the things about yourself that you need. Then what should happen is you should be able to tell yourself what to do. So in any place where you didn't know what to do before, the idea is that you grow and then you're going to make those decisions for yourself.
If I just tell you what to do, well, you might as well stay a child, right? You never get the chance to really grow up and develop and figure out who you are and how you want to live your life. I can address all my concerns in just 1 or 2 therapy sessions. The idea that therapy only takes a few sessions is simply not true. Therapy takes time, and anybody who tells you otherwise is either not familiar with what good therapy is, or has bought into some of the cultural beliefs that are actually not correct. Therapy takes time to get to build a rapport with the person you're talking to.
That is one of the foundational pieces of therapy you have to get to know and trust the person you're talking to. That doesn't mean I need to tell you everything about myself, but what it means is you have to have enough experience of me listening to what you talk about and my attending to your feelings self, and know that you can trust me. That takes time. I can't tell you if that's going to happen in one session. Four sessions, 20 sessions. But I know that what you won't be able to do is if you've had any relationships in your life that didn't feel good, you're going to come in and need to see that this is at least a safe enough place to start.
So if you imagine that being at the foundation, then you know, automatically, how could you do that and then get into everything you want to discuss about areas in your life that you would like to improve and do that in six sessions? It just doesn't make any sense if you really understand what therapy is. All therapy is the same. Not all therapies are the same. There are so many different types of therapy and so many different therapists out there. So you really have to do your research. Read up on the different modalities and see if you can feel what makes sense for you.
What what are you called towards? What do you gravitate towards? And I think you just have to know that all therapy is not the same. Some are going to focus on certain symptoms. Some are going to take everything into account and everything in between. So I think you really need to do your research, read up on everything you can and see what speaks to you. And then you have to go and have sessions with people. You have to talk to people and you need to see. Because even if you decide you like a certain modality within that, each therapist has a personality and you have to see if it feels like a good fit.
And you have to imagine that this is a person you are hopefully going to have a long relationship with, where you are free to talk about anything and everything on your mind. So you really want to put the work in upfront because this needs to serve you going forward. And.